2014, Math, Life, and 6th Graders

    The students really struggle with understanding fractions and percentages. I have tried many ways of explaining them, and some are working. It is hard to explain something, though, when 25% of the class is talking, 70% are trying to listen but really could care less, and 5% are geniuses compared to their peers and are the only ones answering me.
   This is what I'm thinking about a lot as I start 2nd semester. We just finished Week 1, and I finally caught my Bluebook up-to-date for the first time all year! One thing I tried in vain to do last semester. We also had our first class picnic on Thursday. The 6th graders went to Shell Island where we spent the day relaxing; swimming, playing in the sand, eating, and exploring. We were all exhausted, so Friday was quite long for a half day. Now, I'm enjoying a relaxing Sabbath. Even as I was playing piano for church this morning, though, I could not stop contemplating these questions:

What can I do to improve my classes? How can I challenge all the students - catch up those who are behind yet keep up with the lessons and push those who are ahead - all at once? How can I teach them LIFE and GOD and not just math?

I am so behind on grading...how can I have time to complete all those things required of a teacher? I want to stay after school and hang out with my kids and get to know them better. To share the ambition and motivation I have for life that so many of them don't understand. To show them I really care. To show them I can stop and breath and not stress. To let them see how much I really do enjoy and love life. To make sure they know I love them! To sit and laugh with them at their silly jokes and antics. To tell them about my family, and listen to their stories about theirs. To learn Marshallese, and laugh at myself with them as I pronounce it wrong AGAIN. To teach them about the things they really want to learn. To answer the many, many questions they have about God and life and stuff. To show them I'm as ready to listen as they are to talk and ask questions. They are such great kids!

    I promise myself to do better this next week as I review my year in my head:

• I have been here for more than half of my total time (unless it works out that I will be staying here for the summer).
• I have NOT taught my students even a fraction of what I hoped to this year.
• I feel like I have learned 400% more than I thought I could ever learn in 5 months.
• I have not accomplished half of my personal goals for this year which include:
• learning the ukulele
• learning Marshallese
• establishing better eating habits
• learning to stop procrastinating (Yes, I am queen of procrastination. And no, procrastination does not automatically stop when you are not a college student.)
• many, many, MANY more goals

    I have put my personal goals at the end of the list because I am not done here. I still have more time. Yes, I promise: I will do better this week.

    "Silly Leanna!" others tell me. "You are trying to hard. You are going to drain yourself. Look, you are doing what you can, and you are teaching your classes. That's all you can do. You need to change your standard and realize that the kids just don't care to change."

     Maybe they are right. Maybe not. Anyway, I will not stop trying. It's January, and I am still okay. Sure, I'm tired, but I have an underlying energy (which was renewed during Christmas break) that I need to focus on my kids, because they deserve the best. My life is a gift from God that I must use to serve others in the best way that I know. And I must pray every step of every day so that God will use what I'm offering to Him. I will do my best, and He will do the rest. Because honestly, some days my best really isn't much! I am here in Ebeye this year for a reason. No, for many reasons!

"For it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure. Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain."           ~Philippians 2:13-16

    Lord, I know you put me here for a reason. Please work in me and help me. Let this year of 2014 bring Your coming exponentially closer as we work to complete the work set before us. When I leave Ebeye I want to rejoice knowing that I have not run/labored in vain. When we pull out on that ferry I pray that I will be able to leave without regrets about this year, knowing that I taught them everything I could about You and Your Love. :)

Ebeye's ferry dock. The first thing I saw in August, and last thing I will see this summer. <3